Friday, September 16, 2011

paul does fashion week: part two

Again, from the (no doubt fabulously constructed and tastefully wood-stained) desk of Paul Smith...

Hello friends!

Again, I must apologize that it's so late into Fashion Week and you're just now hearing a second time from me. I'd like to say I've been too busy hob-nobbing at the U.S. Open (my deepest sympathies Federer [remember that one year he was ANNA WINTOUR's date to Fashion Week?!?!]), but in all actuality I've just been too busy of late to give adequate attention to something of this gravity. And NOBODY gives Fashion Week the kiss-off. 

Anyway, to it:

1. Diesel Black Gold: Other than when it was so prominently included in Katy Perry's Hot and Cold music video, I've never really taken notice of Diesel. You could say it left me lukewarm (rim shot). That feeling continues this year.  By and large it was swathy and shapeless, but there were some looks I especially enjoyed. I'm a sucker for a high collar and for all things shiny (I'm kind of a magpie) (I can't help but wonder if that's an all-too-literal take on the "Gold" part of the moniker). The jacket of Slide 29 is stellar, but I HATE that the ladies' blouses extend past their shorts. I might like shorty-shorts, but not that much.


2. Proenza Schouler. I recently read an article in an established magazine (that will remain unnamed for the sake of its reputation) that suggested that, when worn properly, shorts are appropriate attire for the professional workplace. I happen to vehemently agree, but if this were the case then Proenza Schouler could outfit a horde of working women (not that kind of working woman) (though come to think of it, they'd probably benefit too). By and large, I don't know when anyone could wear the majority of these looks. I originally thought the dress in the last slide was the palate cleanser, until I realized it was see-through. Maybe our friends the streetwalkers could benefit after all. 


3. Elie Tahari, Designs for Safari. (See what I did there?) Now I'll admit, I've never been a huge fan of Elie Tahari, but this year left me especially cold. All of the colorless blah is about 3 seasons old, and is that DENIM I see? She actually sent models down the runway wearing hoely jeans?! (Yes I know I'm a snob). Old. Washed up. Washed out. And one very brazen nipple. Thumbs down.


4. L'Wren Scott. I was all set to knock L'Wren down a peg because of the ridiculous use of an apostrophe (though I don't know - maybe it's actually quite needed...care to enlighten me?) when I saw the designs. Slide 1 hooked me. I'm a sucker for a lady in a hat. And then the CUTS! The PRINTS! The COLORS! The DRAMA! I couldn't get enough. Yes I'll admit the styling isn't the greatest (did they do the models' hair with a cyclone?!), but just WAIT for Slide 27. THAT is what you wear to the funeral of your arch nemesis, wherein you prove that you win, now and forever more. CHECK MATE.


5. Oscar de la Renta. It's a good thing L'Wren Scott came along when she did, because I was becoming ultra-stabby. I knocked the first thee designers I tonight, and I was on the rampage until Ms. Scott came along just in time. It's a good thing, too, because I would have TORN IN to Oscar de la Renta. Don't get me wrong - he is one of my all-time favorites. Like, consistent top 3. I think that's why this year hurts all the more - it felt like sartorial betrayal. What was with all the crocheting?! The dyed-to-match fur?! The shirts made of lettuce?! There were some bright spots (see Slide 47), but by and large it all felt like he was thisclose to success. No cigars for you, Mr. de la Renta. (Side note: those sleeves are some MAY-JAH drama).


6. 3.1 Phillip Lim. I don't like 3.1. Never have. But I will say this: I consistently don't like it, and that's saying something. Phillip Lim sticks to what he knows, which is a refreshingly simplicity of design (visible panties aside...please Mr. Lim, don't give Britney any more encouragement than she already thinks she has). I think my main problem with 3.1 (other than unnecessary use of numbers in a name) is that no one would ever wear it out of the house. Why? Because it doesn't translate to the people who will wear it. 


7. Herve Leger. I was looking through the Herve Leger line whilst thinking "What can I say other than glamazonian?" when I realized I've already made that tired comment. Therefore, I won't include the link to the line, but I will include this juicy tidbit: Apparently Thomas Jane (ofHung "fame" and husband of Patricia Arquette, of Medium fame) left the show just before it started, and then returned during it. BY WALKING ON THE RUNWAY, a runway that was POPULATED BY STRUTTING MODELS. And then scurried to his seat, plopping  unceremoniously on the person selected to fill its vacancy. I swear some people.

8. Michael Kors. I love Michael Kors. I love his models, with extra-ruddy makeup and proclivity for smiling. Do I love that his line this year would be best styled with a machete in one hand as we crash through South American rain forests? No. But I'll give it a pass, as you never know when you'll need to look fabulous while harvesting your own Colombian coffee beans (or, you know, visiting your Colombian drug cartel. Either way!) What I will not let pass, however, is the thought of a men's sarong. That is *so wrong*. (Ahem)


9. Victoria Beckham. This line is perfect if you have the hips of a 12 year old boy. Does that mean I dislike it? Of course not. I tend to favor Mrs. Beckham, if only because when she asks me what I want (what I really really want), I'll tell her what I want (what I really really want) is to date Model Number 27, as long as she's wearing that dress.


10. Alexander Wang. If I've told you once, young man, I've told you a thousand times: Mesh and stupid zippers do not a fashion line make.


11.Anna Sui. I wanted to like this -- truly I did. Anna supports American-made textiles, and for that I have the great desire to see her succeed. Were there pieces I liked? Certainly - she did use hats and vintage-inspired lines, after all. But by and large, it seemed rather haphazard.


12. Badgley Mischka. FINALLY, something I REALLY REALLY liked. Clean lines, fun colors, punches of drama, interesting draping, great styling. Way to grab my attention without screaming (or worse, begging) for it.


13.Carmen Marc Valvo was my new designer to watch last year. But I feel like this is the sophomore slump. The designs are boxy and blobby. Listen, if a eleventy-seven foot tall model weighing 14 pounds dripping wet isn't flattered by your cuts, aint nobody gonna rock your designs.


14. Erin Featherston was ALSO at the top of my new designers list last year, and this year she's still rocking her line. I love how put together yet casual daytime her line is. And I'm not going to lie - I really like the shows where models just stand there. I think it draws more focus to the clothes, as it should be.


15. Marchesa. It's typical Marchesa: A demure color scheme that allows the dramatic structure, pouffy floofs, and intricate designs to speak for themselves. It isn't ground-breaking, but it is very lovely. You must look.


16. Nanette Lepore. Bright colors! Pretty dresses! Welcome spring! (And...an orchestra?)


17. I usually love Narciso Rodriguez, but I can't help but feel that he ran his original, better designs through a shredder and then stitched the pieces back together. While blindfolded. And hopping on one leg. Was that an un-armed sleeve I spotted, sprouting from that model's neckline? NARCISO. You know better.


18. Preen. Lovely and feminine. Crop-tops (let the 90s DIE, people!) and see-through blouses (put the nipples AWAY, people!) aside, Preen's designs would fit in well for ladies who lunch, baby showers, and garden parties. 


19. Norman Ambrose. Here's another designer that I have never heard of, and yet these designs get my vote for Top o' the Night. That could be because they're ultra shiny, but they're all just so LOVELY. Slide 9? Simple and beautiful. Slide 18? Gorgeous and interesting. Slide 20? Will one of you please buy that so I can be seen with you in it?

20. Choosing a favorite design tonight was a challenge. I feel like every designer I've liked in years past let me down terribly, and this whole round just felt like a lot of boring hoo-ha. HOWEVER, when I came across Norman Ambrose's final design, my eyebrows shot straight up with such vigor they threatened to leave my forehead. I love how conservative the whole thing is except for the keyhole in the bodice (which, by the way, could fit just a little bit better), and I wish to high heaven we had a shot of the back. It's teasing me with potential drama! However, I love the clean white and honeysuckle motif SO VERY MUCH. Your winner:


Again, this is just a smattering of note-worthy designers. Electric Feathers didn't make the cut (a stupid name with droopy designs - the models look like their knees were at their ankles and their boobs were at their knees), neither did Gant by Michael Bastian (he's *that* guy, the one trying too hard to be too edgy. The patterns, the styling, the colors -- J. Crew did it better AND kept its dignity). Farah Angsana felt like a high school prom and Derek Lam had a few nice coats in an otherwise sea of blah.

Stay tuned as I (hopefully) finish off the designers in my next write up!

Yours,

Paul

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